culero | IC CONTACT

IC CONTACT

« UN: YACKIE » TEXT ✧ AUDIO ✧ VIDEO ✧ ACTION JACKIE WELLES ✦ CYBERPUNK 2077
RESIDENCE ✦ TBD
GEMBOND ✦ EMERALD

"Leave a message. Or don't. Up to you."

INFO ✧ PERMISSIONS ✧ KINKLIST ✧ EXTRA

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Jackie takes the bottle and has a good swing followed by another like maybe it would be the only way for him to fall asleep. Rather than handing it back, he sets it down nearby in some neutral ground between them. He wants to have a conversation but he's not even sure where to start or what to say, so he just sighs.

"Yeah, I'm not so good either, hermano." He admits it easily. There's no point in beating around the bush. Clearly they both had shit on the brain, and V never makes Jackie feel bad for the way he feels. "What's bothering you, though? You haven't been eating much, and I donno. You just seem..off."

V isn't watching Jackie, but he can hear. There's a concern that wells up in his chest for his choom. V personally felt that Jackie was the one who was more stable between the two of them, more grounded and stable. V was the one with the vices and the one that was unstable. He hated to hear that Jackie wasn't doing well either, but he was not surprised by the news.

"What isn't botherin' me?" He pushed his fingers through his hair, then let his hands fall back to his lap.

"There's some other version've me from some other version've Night City, the fuck that was killin' me's here 'cause bein' in my head wasn't enough, my boyfriend's here but he's datin' the other version've me, somehow I'm here even though that should be fuckin' impossible..." He trailed off. There was another thing that bothered him, but he wasn't going to bring up that Jackie was dead where he was from again. That was some salt in a wound he didn't wish to rub in.

There's not really a whole lot Jackie can do to fix that situation, although the urge to offer to make it right for his choom is strong in his chest, almost unsettlingly so. It doesn't seem like there's an easy fix to either of their problems, but the least he can do is listen.

"I know, hermano. Everything's all fucked up here. Don't wanna worry you or anything, but neither of the two of you are quite like the V I remember. Not exactly." He doesn't think he's mentioned that before. Mostly because it hasn't really been an issue. Despite their lives and choices being completely different and their appearances slightly more so, they both feel right to him. He suspects any V from any timeline would click. Maybe their friendship transcends parallel universes and alternate timelines? He doesn't fucking know.

"Sometimes I feel like I don't belong here. Whatever algorithm they used to select people for this is broken. Misty ain't here and I feel like the awkward one out because I should be dead..but here I am." It's not the survivor's guilt sort of feeling. It's more like he feels like he's fucking with the natural order of the universe since he found out.

"Not a lot I can do to help, but who's the fuck that was killing you? Maybe I can tie up that loose end at least?"

Things were definitely fucked and V was still a bit in a haze as to how he felt about everything. Having the opportunity to be alive and have his body back, to reconnect with Jackie and Kerry, was worth more than anything V could ever hope to give. Things with Kerry were a bit complex and he was going to need time to sort through that, but at the very least he had Jackie.

V frowned a bit at what Jackie said. He'd honestly assumed that Jackie had also, for lack of a better term, 'belonged' to the other V, given Kerry did. That neither of them were Jackie's both made V feel better and worse. Better that at least the nomad didn't have everyone, but worse because, well, V understood quite deeply the feeling of having not quite your friend here. When Jackie delved into feeling he didn't belong... He took the bottle up.

"Eh, just been told Johnny's here." That alone deserved a drink. "Been fortunate enough not to run into him yet." And thank that: V had no clue how to feel about Johnny being around, and he had no clue how he would feel to have the man before him. That was a relationship best described as 'it's complicated'.

"I know you're probably gonna tell me it's ok, but I'm sorry I'm not your V." Another drink, then he surrenders the bottle back to the space between them. "Know how it feels to just about know someone but it ain't the them you knew." He was speaking more on Kerry, but Jackie fell into that as well if he were to be technical.

"I doubt it helps but I'm not s'pposed to have a body'r even a sense of self. I'm..." His voice catches in his throat and, for some reason, he finds himself struggling to admit this out loud. "I... I'm just some AI... Shoved into a body." A body he gave away to someone else. A body that was technically no longer rightfully his. "Guess we're just two dead guys, huh?"

Jackie just nods, listening closely to what V's saying, watching for any visual indications for how he might be feeling.

"Mm. I met him before I was rescued. Thought I breathed in too much of the bad air and started seeing ghosts, but he mentioned you. Said he knew of me because of you. I didn't understand it at the time--thought it was a hallucination. If I had any idea what that hijo de puta put you through, I might have given him a harder time." He pauses for a moment, shaking his head at V's apology, taking back the bottle once it's put down.

"Yeah, you know me well even if you aren't how I remember you, but I know it's you, anyway, so I have to tell you that. It's okay. Nothing to be sorry about, choom. I'd still take a bullet for your gonk ass." He doesn't want to be the one to get sentimental, but this is just all he has under all of the sudden changes of adapting to life in a place like this when he shouldn't even exist right now.

"You might be technically right, but if you hadn't told me I wouldn't have known that you weren't just yourself, ya know? And if I can't fucking tell the difference, then maybe there isn't one? You wear that skin suit like it's your own, because it is now." A swing follows another before he finally hands back the bottle like he's done saying what he needed to say. "Guess so. We're both gonna have to be okay with that...eventually. Being ghosts."

As V floated in the space between 'drunk' and 'sobering up' the usual hardness of his expression had melted away and all that was left was a melancholic exhaustion. For the time being any jokes he made, any chuckle he gave: it was all half-hearted. His good dreams were about Mikoshi and confused hi as to what was reality and what wasn't, his nightmares were... Well, they kept him up at night.

"Just give 'im hell next time, yeah?" A pause for a moment, then a sigh. "Bein' honest, though, he's a fuckin' prick, but not like he did it on purpose. Gonk tried to even put me back in my own body at the end, but I didn't let 'im." Not that it really mattered either way, really. It wasn't Johnny's fault what happened anymore than it was V's. V just got the short stick in that draw despite Johnny's best efforts and V would be remiss if he didn't acknowledge that. Still hard to really be chill with it all, though. The despair of what happened still lived in V's chest and it was easiest to be mad at Johnny than to admit that there was really nobody to blame.

The comment about taking a bullet for V would have made him chuckle any time else, but it just made him frown now. That's what had happened and the weight of it was on his shoulders. It was yet another thing that wasn't necessarily something that he was actually at fault for, but he should have tried to talk Jackie out of the job, he should have known better than to go for it. There was a certain point that things were just too good to be true, and the perfect setup for a high stakes job was definitely one of those things. "Next time I'll be takin' the bullet for you. You already did for me, I owe ya one." It was meant to be light, a joke, but it just sounded tired.

He's dead silent as Jackie speaks on how they're ghosts and he's quiet for some time after, eventually reaching for the bottle. He checks how much is left and seems to seirously consider finishing the rest of it - a bad call given how much was left. He apparently decided he was too far on the 'sobering up' side of things and took what would count as probably three or four drinks. Impressive on some level, given it's straight tequila he's drinking. Perhaps his only saving grace is putting the bottle back down between them rather than decided to keep hold of it.

"I got these dreams that I'm still in Mikoshi. They're so much how it was that I struggle with what's real. And surely this is real, right? But it's hard, too, because you were dead, 'n here you're not." V frowned, turning his head to look at Jackie numbly. "Don't think I mind bein' a ghost, but can't keep on not knowin' what to believe. Can't keep not knowin' what's real." This might be why he wasn't eating, mixed in with no small amount of depression run rampant.

Jackie doesn't have as clear an understanding of the situation as V does. He didn't have to go through it--being told you're dying and your consciousness is slowly being overwritten by someone else's with no choice to opt out. All he knows is that Johnny had been in V's head causing him trouble up until the point he would have killed him.

Neither Street Kid or Nomad went into specifics about options they did or didn't take to expedite or slow the process, but he is aware of one instance where Kerry had met Johnny while he'd taken control of V's body. Likely against his will--Jackie doesn't know for sure-- but it's enough that he feels like he can deck Johnny right in his face and he'd fucking deserve it.

"They're just dreams. Whatever this place is, it's not Mikoshi. That ain't because I have any idea what Mikoshi's like but I know there'd be no reason for them to put any of us with people we care about like this. This shit is too benevolent for that." Well, missing Misty aside, the V's seem to be surrounded by their loved ones and that shit doesn't happen for people who have no reason to give out favors.

"Hey, I'm real." Jackie takes the bottle from his friend so he can take the hand that had been holding it just prior. Platonic or not, their friendship is a deep enough connection that the synchrony going on between them is palpable. "And if you can feel that at all you're real too. Ain't much but you can start there, okay?"

If Jackie were to ask more questions the streetkid would likely go into detail, but it wasn't really something he liked to mull over on his own - especially not when his mood was that to simply drink until he couldn't remember shit. Though, in truth, V would really love to see his choomba deck Johnny. There were many things that warranted it, but V was so far past the end of his rope with it he wouldn't even consider it himself.

The word hit V and he hears them but he only half believes them. Much of what V took as good things in his life wound up to be either pretty lies or painfully temporary. Things were benevolent now, but surely the other should would drop eventually. Maybe in the form of this actually being a simulation, maybe in the form of this is all real but actually some horror movie situation, or... Well, the list could go on. The rejection from Kerry just felt like the start of this process. Maybe. Sure didn't take long.

V didn't seem to come to until Jackie took his hand. The synchrony sharpened him up a bit, made him come to. Fear, sadness, anger - a confusing and sloppy mess from the alcohol. There's a fondness too, love, even. He could feel Jackie too, and he knew that his choom was right. V had his doubts, he always had his many anxieties, but Jackie'd tempered that well in their time together before.

"Stood on less solid ground 'n that before." He gripped Jackie's hand, confirmation that he'd at least try to accept it. There's a momentary pause, his head a bit sluggish to put words together.

"You know, Jack, I don't think you bein' here's a mistake. 'n I don't mean that selfish. 'Cept Kerry we're all dead men." The gloominess V feels as he admits this makes his body feel heavy. "If any've us deserve this chance it's you. You're the best'f us." V's brows furrowed. "I know Misty ain't here 'n I think I finally got an idea how that feels, but I think this sure's hell beats bein' dead."

He'd deck Johnny for V if he thought he could get away with it. And also, even if he didn't. The thing was, though, he's not sure that the guy is so bad. Yes, he's an asshole, and yes, he's hard to be around even though Jackie hadn't had to spend that much time around him, but something tells him that Johnny and V have some sort of connection because the old rocker had no reason to put up with Jackie when they met, but he did.

How much of that was desperation, and how much was Johnny trying to tolerate someone just for being one of V's close friends? It was hard to say, and felt like something he'd give more thought to later. Right now, he's all in for kicking the man's ass for perceived crimes of the past, present, or future. He doesn't care. As V's best choom it's his job, plain and simple.

"Maybe not a mistake when you put it like that. We all have that in common, though." They're all dead men given a second chance. Except Kerry, who Jackie is glad to know lives on to keep putting out hits, providing V with company and comfort when he wasn't able to. "Wait, what? Nah. Ain't any better than you, hermano, and I definitely don't need any special treatment."

Jackie listens to V's words, and deep down he knows his choomba is only speaking facts. Just feels like survivor's guilt, only the opposite, maybe? It's confusing. He's sure of one thing though: "Yeah, you're probably right. I think Misty would want me to try to be happy here, so I'll try that. Let's try together, alright?"

A second chance. V felt like he didn't deserve such a thing and he wasn't entirely certain that he wanted such an opportunity. He understood he shouldn't squander it - especially with the way he was encouraging Jackie to take it in stride - but he somehow felt that he didn't deserve it. He chose to throw his life away because of some selfish desire to avoid his fears and anxieties.

When Jackie denies that he's the best of them and tries to put it on V he's met with a chuckle and a shake of the head, but no comment. V knew that was silly argument that would ultimately go nowhere and he knew he was nowhere near sharp enough in the moment to keep up with Jackie in that sort of jest.

V hesitated before answering the question. Being happy wasn't really in V's agenda, but feeling the warmth of Jackie's hand, the grip tethering him to here and now. V gave Jackie a crooked smile. "You're jus sayin' that to try'n get me back to eatin' aren't ya?" The smile faded and was replaced with an earnest, tired expression. "I'll try. I can't guarantee I'll do a great job, but I'll try."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

IC CONTACT

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject